Punished For Being A Couple.

Stay at home mums and couples ARE penalised by the benefit system, economists find.

Couples with children and mothers who stay at home are being penalised by the benefits system which favours lone parents.
The respected Institute for Fiscal Studies found that while the number of couples with children in poverty shot up last year, the numbers of poor single parents came down.
And a third more families with just one parent working are below the poverty line than in 1997.

On Tuesday, the Government was forced to admit that the number of children living in poverty was on the rise for the second year running.
The IFS found a large difference in the fortunes of children depending on whether they live with two parents or just one.

Poverty among children in couple families has gone up by 145,000 over the last two years, while poverty among children in lone parent families has fallen by 14,000.
The biggest increase was among families with one working parent – usually the father – where poverty increased by 111,000.
Twenty per cent of children in these families now live in poverty compared to only 15 per cent two years ago.

Conservative work and pensions spokesman Chris Grayling blamed Gordon Brown's tax credits system, which gives more money to single parents than couples with children.
"It's hardly surprising that we have such a high level of family breakdown when the Government's policies have left couples with children behind,. We have a benefits system that encourages people to live apart and a tax system that no longer recognises marriage. We can't go on like this."

People are said to be in poverty if their household income is less than 60 per cent of the median, or midpoint figure.
This equates to an income of less than £226 per week based on a couple with no children.

Welcome to my world.

Problem With Religion.

Religion And Hatred.


There are many religions around today from the well-known ones like Islam and Catholic to rarer ones like Wicca. One thing they all seem to have in common is a hatred of a type of person or followers of another religion. This is one of the main issues that puts me off the whole idea of organised religion.

Now, I believe there is "something more" but whether that is a god looking down benignly from the heavens, a whole host of gods like the Romans & Greeks believed or even that this whole universe & everything in it is a part of some alien schoolkids science experiment and we are in fact a side effect of that; like a living, breathing, thinking mould, I just don't know.
In some ways I'd like to think there is a god, that everything happens for a reason and is part of some bigger plan for us all but I'm not so sure that is the case.

There are so many wars and hatreds whose foundations are built in religion from the crusades in history when christians tried to make everyone worship their god only to the decades of hatred between catholics and protestants to the recent attacks on people from other religions by extreme islam followers. Can there really be a god who wants us to kill people just for having a different opinion to ours?

Then there's those who hate an entire religion like many arabic nations and the Jewish and those who try to recruit people to their religion like those inconvenient knocks on the door by members of a certain religion who want to leave you a multitude of books on how you are sinning but god can forgive if you would only change and follow that churches rules.
Would this mean that the life-saving surgeon or charity worker who has worked all his life to benefit others not be allowed into heaven (if such a place exists) just because they have never gone to church? What if this same man, this totally selfless and giving man was gay?
To some people that would mean a trip to hell no matter how good a person he was.

What about those who are divorced? Has god given up on them because one spouse decided to leave the other or one spouse continually hit and abused the other till it came down to a choice between life and divorce or staying married and death. How can punishing these people be what a loving and merciful god would want for us?

I'd much rather believe in a god (I don't like the idea of many different gods ala the Greeks and Romans) who was merciful and loving to all no matter what race, religion, gender or sexual orientation. A god who cares for all and banishes no-one. A religion where I don't have to refuse medical treatment, donate thousands of pounds I haven't got or totally change my thoughts and day to day habits.

The Society of Friends / Quakers is one religion I really like the sound of, I agree with many of the requirements and religious aspects of this religion but it also seems to be a religion where you need a comfortable income so you can give to the numerous charities and organisations they help. I find it hard just surviving from day to day and sadly there is no money left for charitable donations although I wish it were otherwise.

MMR - News Of The World Newspaper.

PUPILS FACE SCHOOL BAN OVER JABS.


Sunday May 11, 2008. News Of The World Newspaper.
By Lucy Johnston


CHILDREN could be barred from school unless they have been given all their vaccinations.

The controversial proposal, to be published next week, has been drawn up for Labour’s next election manifesto.
A further proposal suggests that parents who refuse to have offspring immunised could lose their child benefits.
The plans have sparked fresh accusations of “nanny state” government and outraged health campaigners and doctors.

In other words how dare the ignorant people we rule over dare to believe they can think for themselves or have any say in their or their childrens lives. The government will tell us what to do and when and we will not be allowed to think or act for ourselves. George Orwell was closer than he thought when he wrote 1984, his only error was being twenty years or so wrong about the date.
Not only does this government incorporate as many vaccines as possible into one (because it's cheaper that way) but it is also going to penalise any parent who wants to put their child first and limit the risk of side effects and autism through not getting this triple vaccine. I know of many parents who are more than willing to immunise their children with the single vaccines, however the government has made this option impossible to find in the UK with those parents rich enough having to go abroad to get them.

The plan was last night condemned by leading author Dr Richard Halvorsen as “unethical, immoral and entirely wrong”, while a support group for vaccine-damaged children accused Labour of imposing its will on families.

The government can't force those parents unwilling to take the cheapest option so they will use blackmail to force it on them instead, not only by removing any other option such as single vaccines but also via financial means and education.

The plan to bar children from schools was drawn up by the influential Left-wing think tank, the Fabian Society, for Labour’s manifesto.
The plan had been based on systems in the United States where school authorities are responsible for vaccination. “It would be up to local authorities to deal with individuals who refuse to vaccinate.”
The Wakefield MP added: “There would have to be exceptions, children who would be at risk from vaccines like those with cancer or those who are HIV-positive and those with parents with strong religious beliefs.”

The proposals come as Sir Sandy Macara, former chair of the British Medical Association, is calling for the uptake of vaccines to be linked to child benefit.
His justification, also to be published next week by the the Fabian Society, is that childhood vaccines are for public good, not just individual benefit.

That's all very well for him to say as it isn't him who would have to live with the knowledge that the vaccine triggered their childs illness nor would he have to live with all these adverse reactions would entail. It certainly wouldn't cost him any sleepless nights specially as there is next to no help for parents od disabled / seriously ill children as it is. It may be the case that this is for the public good and we shouldn't be so worried about the individuals but for me even one child being affected badly by this innoculation is one child too many.

However, the proposal would almost certainly lead to a legal challenge, with non-religious parents arguing they had as much say on their children’s well-being as those with religious convictions.

Dr Halvorsen, author of the book The Truth About Vaccines has just opened a Harley Street baby clinic offering parents the choice of single vaccines. He said: “It is unethical, immoral and entirely wrong to force parents to have a medical intervention with known risks against their will.
“If I had to vaccinate my child or be barred from school I would make a legal challenge. It’s an abuse of human rights.”
He added: “The reason why we no longer have thousands of children dying from measles and other diseases is not because of immunisation but improved standards of living, nutrition and hygiene. Vaccines have made only a tiny contribution.”


Allison Edwards’s son Jonathon was left handicapped after he had the combined MMR jab at 14 months.
Mrs Edwards, 44, from Telford, Shropshire, now campaigns for the pressure group Jabs. She said: “This Government seems hell-bent on imposing its will on everyone. I urge parents to think very carefully before agreeing to the single jab.
“This type of bully-boy tactic proves how out of touch this Government is, and why it is suffering in the polls.”

Shadow Health Minister Mike Penning said: “There is an appalling outbreak of mumps and rubella and tragically it’s because parents are not vaccinating their children.
“In some cases parents are too educated, rather than ignorant, and they have genuine concerns.
“By blackmailing parents in this way the Government would be running away from an important debate instead of educating people as to why they should be giving their children the MMR jab.”

British babies have one of the intense inoculation regimes in the world, with 25 vaccines before they are 15 months. This has nearly doubled over the past two decades.

Many experts say combined jabs can have serious side-effects and want parents to be offered single vaccines.

The government don't want to hear this because it would mean having to spend more money per child by giving single vaccines. The ministers themselves aren't affected by the one in a thousand children who end up autistic or ill in some way through this triple innoculation. It doesn't cost the government any extra money as they don't help financially or with facilities the parents are left to just get on with it.
Surely one child affected is one child too many when there is a safer option possible it just costs more money.

Mariah Carey - Stupidly in "love"

Blatantly Stupid!

According to the media Mariah has married her boyfriend of around one month. She wanted to marry him so much that she didn't bother to get a pre-nup drawn up either.

Nick Cannon (the groom) an actor / presenter / rapper (shades of K-fed ?) is said to have married Mariah in the Bahamas where she has a palatial home.

Now, I don't know about you but if I had the gazillions in the bank that I had worked hard for I wouldn't marry anyone no matter how well endowed fantastic after one month. Did she not learn anything from Britneys example? Her quick marriage sans pre-nup didn't work out financially beneficial to her although I'm sure K-fed doesn't regret a moment of it.

When you have that sort of money a pre-nup should be essential. It would not only protect her financially if things go wrong (and you never know what can happen in the future) but I think it would also prove that he isn't after her for the money a divorce will bring.

He's apparantly in showbiz and (yawn) a wannabe rapper yet I've never heard of him so success has been limited. I can see many benefits in this marriage for him just like K-fed had.

After only four weeks this isn't love it is lust like, maybe a strong liking but you can't possibly know someone well enough after a paltry month to be in love and certainly not the love that you need to have a lasting, loving and happy marriage.

He's done well for himself all he has to do is have sex with an attractive woman and treat her nice for a year or so and he'll rake in millions more than she will have already wasted spent on him during the marriage.

Then again though I don't think I could put up with being married to a "diva" and pandering to her every whim. It's hard enough doing that for my own child and he's my life.

The shirt with the most

Now, I'm all for gay men (and I don't mean the happy type of gay) stepping out from the closet and feeling comfortable enough with who they are to be to be able to act naturally in public

BUT

I think wearing a pink shirt with garish flowers on his cuffs is a tad too much.

Before And After

Heather Locklear BEFORE make up.

Heather Locklear AFTER make up.

Blog Talkers - Fear

Blog Talkers

Don’t be scared.
When was the last time you were afraid? What scared you? And how did you conquer your fears as a child? How do you conquer your fears today? What scares you the most? Do you have nightmares? If so, what are they? What was the most bizarre nightmare you’ve ever had? What was the most bizarre nightmare anyone has ever told you?

I have never been the type to be scared of much except for spiders and bugs of course but since becoming a mother the list of things I am scared of has gotten much longer. I am always worried now and the worries never diminish they only grow.

My fears now mainly concern my loved ones like my mothers health and life now she's getting older or my sons health, safety and happyness. Pretty much par for the course when you become older and have children. There is no real way to conquer these fears but you do learn to live with them and time passes between the worries coming to my attention or being actively thought about.

Luckily I never had any major fears as a child, my mother has always been such a capable, independent woman that I knew she could and more importantly would help me to solve any problems or difficulties I came across. This has pretty much been the story of my life whenever I have a worry I can always rely on my mums advice or failing that a quick search on Google to find a way of dealing with or more information on my current worry.

The only long-lived, nightmarish fear I have is of being buried alive or of waking up in a coffin and having no way to let anyone know. I don't know why this scares me so much, it's obviously not something I've had experience of but I have had nightmares about this for years.

Not even my mum can take away this fear!

Better Hidden

Is that or is it not something that shouldn't be on show even if you're name is Britney (or in this case Gwynneth)?

Look at the top of her legs, at the gap in the middle

Definately a full wax job, no Brazilian or natural look for her!

The Latest Low Rise Nightmare.

Have you seen the latest jeans going on sale this summer?
Would you wear them?
I think you'd have to wax on a daily basis to wear them.
What about stretchmarks?
Can't you just see those obese females who showed everyone their thongs while wearing jeans loving these? Stomaches bulging over the pants, love handles jiggling & a game of try desperately to hide the pubic hairs anyone?

Money And Sense

Emma's one rich witch!

Harry Potter's sidekick Emma Watson turned 18 on Tuesday and finally gained access to the $20 million she's accrued from playing Hermione in the hit movie series.

I can't imagine having $20 million at any age such a young age. Just being able to spend without having to think twice or juggle bill payments would go to anyones head, even more so if you're only eighteen years old. It's not only a lot of money, it's a lot of power and arse kissers and fame and people running around doing your bidding.
How can anyone keep their feet on the ground with all that going on?

Her parents have made sure she knew a thing or two about money management before taking control of her fortunes. They sent her for finance lessons from Coutts bank, which also advises Queen Elizabeth, so that her jackpot doesn't quickly disappear into thin air.

Why isn't this done for every star who earns a lot of money in a short time? Maybe if they were taught how to handle fame and yes-men and were able to practice restraint when it comes to financial matters then we wouldn't see so many bad role models like Paris and Britney.

I think her parents have been incredibly wise in making their daughter do this and I think it's one of the best examples of parenting I've seen in a long time.

Why?

I never have been and never will be a fashionista or a style icon, fashion and me will never even be acquaintances. Colours that should be worn when and with what, styles, mini, maxi, a-line (what?) are all well beyond me. A pair of jeans is a pair of jeans, something comfy that I wear to leave the house and cover my bits nothing to do with making a "statement".
I cannot see the sense in spending a fortune on an item of clothing which I wouldn't be able to wear within three months because it's dated and out of style. I could buy seven or eight pairs of jeans from a charity shop for the same price as one cheap fashionable pair and wear them for years with no worries about what I look like.

BUT

Even I know this outfit is just plain wrong and really for a red carpet event being worn by a "celebrity" I'm flummoxed.
This makes me glad I'm not fashionable.

Survey Results For My Local Hospital.

These are the results for my major local hospital and although the results are disgustingly bad they aren't as bad as I had expected. Bear in mind that many potential patients refuse to be treated there.

GWH slammed over lack of care
PATIENT satisfaction is on the slide at Swindon's hospital.

That's the findings of the Picker report from July 2007 to assess patient perceptions of the NHS up and down the country.

Almost 500 in-patients at the Great Western Hospital completed the questionnaire. And compared to the 2006 report, the hospital performed significantly worse on 18 questions.

The Swindon and Marlborough Trust, which runs the hospital, said steps are now being taken to address the concerns raised.

"This is not a flattering report," said trust spokesman Chris Birdsall.

"We're disappointed with it but things are improving and have improved since last summer."

Compared to other hospital trusts in the country the Swindon and Marlborough NHS Trust ranked above national averages in four area's questions and significantly below it on 37.

Some of the areas the trust performed poorly in included a perceived lack of nurses on duty, ward cleanliness and a lack of explanation on getting to a room, ward or bed.

Another problem was doctors' lack of respect for patients and the lack of opportunity to discuss treatment with them.

BUT it is not all bad news for the hospital. Figures from the Healthcare Commission's national 2007 survey reveals the hospital has a workforce that feels supported by management with a good work and lifestyle balance.

Although hospital staff did raise concerns about being overworked, harrassed, bullied or abused by patients and relatives.

I could add so much to this list from substandard and inedible food, to uncaring and neglectful staff, litter and general unhygienic wards and staff not forgetting the patients who have died needlessly in recent years through lack of care or being given the wrong medicines because medicines weren't stored or even checked correctly.
Recently a lady giving birth was given an epidural drug through an iv drip in her wrist and died. The drug was not only "stored" in an unlabeled cardboard box dumped in an unlocked room but was administered wrongly with no checks and caused her death.
Sadly this is just one example of it's substandard care and a "public apology" just doesn't cut it somehow.

I wouldn't trust this hospital to look after vermin let alone human lives.

Be nice to me and I'll sue!

More Ridiculous Laws For The U.K

From next Sunday it will be an offence, punishable by unlimited compensation orders, to allow customers to chat up bar staff.

Now to me this has always been part of the job. You serve drink, sometimes food and try to make sure the drinker enjoys his time in the pub by talking to him and yes that involves looking interested and accepting / giving compliments.


From April 6, employers will risk being sued if a bar worker or waitress complains of being called "love" or "darling", or if staff overhear customers telling sexist jokes.

Sexist jokes are par for the course and asking for "another pint please love" is just a general, day to day phrase. It's just a name and let's face it most of us have been called worse.
I can't imagine asking for compensation because some person (with alcohol in them) dared to call me "love". It's hardly in the same class as inappropriate touching or falling and breaking a leg. It definately isn't an insult either

Lawyers are advising pub owners to cover themselves by displaying warning notices declaring: "Harassment is not tolerated."

I can't see a name such as "sweetheart" or "love" being a form of harassment.
To me, harassment is nastyness, violence maybe, just general unkindness really. It has never been a nickname plopped onto the end of a sentence with no malicious thought behind it.

Future Transaction.

This is an article by Oliver Pritchett. it's meant to be funny but as it is becoming more and more possible the humour is transforming into worry.
It's taken from the U.K newspaper The Daily Telegraph

The article in it's original context can be read here


A government stealth warning
By Oliver Pritchett


What could possibly lead you to believe that we might sell cigarettes in this establishment? This is a carpet warehouse, as all may plainly see, and, as usual, only a few days remain before our sensational bargain sale must end. Yes, I am well aware that Dawn Primarolo, the Minister of State for Public Health, wants to ban the display of cigarettes in shops, but I cannot see how this would affect us here, as we are merely dedicated purveyors of superior shag pile.

So a friend sent you? And he suggested you might ask for a nice healthy orange, making those curious inverted comma signs with your fingers. I suppose I might be able to help you there. Would that be a low tar or a medium tar orange? Tipped or untipped? With the purple skin? And would you like it to come in 20 or 10 segments? There you are, sir, and here's a box of matches, in case you wish to set fire to your orange.

Is there anything else I can help you with today? We do have a nice selection of hearth rugs. A packet of ready-salted crisps? Good heavens! Does such an item even exist in this day and age? I believe it is still possible to buy a packet of salted nuts, but you have to be accompanied by a responsible person, such as a JP, a bank official, a member of the clergy or a GP, and you must have proof of age and proof of your address in the form of a bank statement or two recent utilities bills.

But ready-salted crisps? You've really stumped me there. Perhaps if you looked in that box over there, the one marked "Extremely Sensible Toothbrushes", you might see something to interest you. I'll be looking the other way, studying my pattern book and admiring our range of classic Axminsters. If you do happen to find something in the box to suit you, just leave the money next to the till. Any sum you feel is appropriate, bearing in mind the scarcity.

There's something else, is there? I'm sorry, sir, I can't make out what you are muttering. Whisper it to me. I get it - a white loaf. And there's something special about this white loaf. Rhymes with "enticed". Ooh, sir, that really is a tricky one. It's really hard to lay one's hands on an enticed white loaf these days. The wholemeal police are everywhere and they're cracking down.

What I can do for you, seeing that you're a good customer, is write a little note to a certain friend of mine. Take this note and go down the street, then turn left into the alley by the recycling bins and you should see a tall thin man with a short fat dog.

You say to this man, "I'm glad I'm not in Basingstoke on a day like this." If he replies, "I had an aunt who lived in Basingstoke and she said they had lovely sunsets," you know you've got the right chap. That's Cholesterol Bob. Give him this note and he may be able to accommodate you. And, by the way, Cholesterol Bob can put a nice bit of excessive wasteful packaging your way, if you feel you'd like some. A lot of my clients go to him for their excessive packaging needs.

Before you go, sir, there's something I'd like to mention. I can tell you are a man of the world and I thought you might be interested in a little intimate revue we put on in the back of the warehouse on Saturday nights. It's all very tasteful and artistic. What happens is we turn on a switch and there's this light with an old-style, short-life, high-energy 60-watt bulb.

Completely naked. And for any gentlemen who have a taste for something a little stronger, we also do a 100-watt bulb. Just thought I'd mention it. If you're interested, go to the back door on Saturday night, give two slow knocks and three quick ones and when they answer, just ask for Pearl.



Wait a minute. Act perfectly normally and don't look up. I just spotted Dawn Primarolo outside the window. Pretend you're looking at the book of carpet samples. Keep nodding, look interested.

You see this is quality carpet, sir. Lovely tufting work. The pattern is swirly and bold, so you'd need some really forceful curtaining to balance it and a flowery sofa cover would be completely lost.

OK, I think Dawn has gone now. She's been around a lot lately because there are reports of chocolate dealing going on quite openly in this street.

One more thing before you go, sir. I've got something that would suit a person of discernment such as your good self. It's very rare, a collector's item, in fact. There you are, sir - a photograph of a doughnut. Full colour and gloss finish. Very realistic, very detailed. Look at that icing sugar. As you are such a good customer, I can let you have it for £80, but you've got to promise not to show it to anyone under the age of 18.

Dr Seuss is my doctor

I went to see my family doctor about my black out. I don't want it to happen again like when I'm halfway down the stairs or on my own so best foot forward and all that, I went to see my doctor.
I was doomed lucky enough to see the owner/doctor, the one in charge of the entire practice and all the other doctors.

I told him about the 4 days of constant diarrhoea and the blackout.
Then he questioned me on

My diabetes and sugar levels.
If you are a diabetic then no matter what is wrong with you all the doctor will care about is your diabetes. It could be a broken arm, migraine or even toothache but all the doctor will hear is "diabetic".

It drives me mad!

The doctor decided that the blackout happened because my sugar levels went too low.
The fact I ate nothing after that would have raised them and that I did not end up with a low sugar attack proves to anyone with half a brain cell that my levels were most definately not to blame.

He would not hear any of this, he had made up his mind and nothing would change it.

His recommendation:

Don't take any more insulin.

That's like telling an asthmatic not to breathe any more air.

The scary thing is this man is in control of my health.

Miracles do happen.

This photo is proof that miracles do happen even if they don't make us ecstatically happy.
The woman is that well known drug addict supermodel "Kate Moss" and her daughter "Lila".

Just look how happy they are to spend time together!


Kate is known for snorting cocaine partying, being drunk and having a relationship with drug addict rocker Pete Docherty. She is not known for ever spending any time or thought on her daughter who is left under the care of whatever slave nanny Kate is currently employing.

Dressing your young daughter in pristine white would be a no-no for any mother with hands on experience of raising a child.
Children are meant to be noisy and dare I say it mucky. This outfit looks like a return to the sit still, children should be seen and not heard school of thought.

I can't decide which one looks unhappier to be stuck with the other.
BUT on the whole it's the little girl I feel sorry for after all we can't choose our mothers but at least she isn't likely to have to see her mother for the rest of the year.
Not if her life up till now is any indication.

The Visitor

Bless me everyone for I have sinned, and to make matters worse I don't regret it and will do it again if need be.

I'm a murderer.

Yes, you read it write I am a big, not at all sorry murderer.
I killed tonight and I will kill any other family members or friends I see near me or my home.
This is my confession and my vow.

This is the victim, I don't know his name so let's call him "George" or how about "Blair"?

This is one of the problems of living in the country specially once the weather starts getting warmer. Let all visions of rosy, comfy countryside disappear from your minds forever. This is the reality.

Living rurally means lots of trees, bushes, fields and peoples dumped rubbish.
Living rurally means insects, lots of insects, bugs, spiders, creepy crawly things.

Opposite my home is fields and farm land, horses are ridden past my garden gate and there are trees and bushes near, very near that are starting to be inhabited by the most disgusting bugs and flying things imaginable.

It's impossible to keep them all out as houses do need fresh air blowing through occasionally, 4 year old boys need to play in the garden. Housing association home are built pretty shoddily and our doors and windows have permanent gaps that let in more than just wind (due to poor workmanship).

It's time to get my summer supplies ready (no, not suncream).

• Ant powder.
• Salt.
• Powder bleach.
• Heavy book (spiders).
• Fly spray.
• My mum on the phone for sympathy and shared disgust /horror.

Why? Who? Where? When?

Why would anyone wear these?

If it's cold enough for boots then why would you want your toes to brave the freezing cold or even worse the ice cold rain?
If it's hot enough for open toed footwear then why would you want to encase your ankles in leather so they become sweaty and uncomfortable.

Who would wear these?

You would have to be a "real" fashion victim to wear these and also not mind either sweaty, hot ankles or freezing cold and wet toes.

Where would anyone wear these>

I can't imagine these being worn anywhere but on the runway. The cold, discomfort or the sweaty, heat would be a big no-no for most of us. Surely?

When would you wear these?

I can't imagine a time I would wear these. I can't imagine anyone wearing these off-stage or catwalk. I guess the answer is never unless you know different?

Truthful Quote For Life.

"When one door of happiness closes another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."


~ Helen Keller

Things I'd Like To Get Paid For.

Things I'd like to get paid for.

I would love to earn money for these things because I do, say or think them a lot. It would be a validation of sorts and even better it would be financially profitable.

So here's a mini list of things I'd like to be paid for (this list is subject to thousands of additions).

SLEEPING.

I could enter the sleep olympics and win triple platinum gold encrusted with flawless diamonds. I can happily sleep for over twelve hours and still want more. I don't think it's because my dream lives are always so much better than the reality because not all my days suck, contrary to popular belief.

GIVING MY OPINION.

I'm one of those awful people who is always right. I don't mean I think I'm right I mean I am right. This may be because the two people I tend to have a different opinion from are my husband and son (both males, need I say more?).
I would love to be able to go up to someone and just say "your bum is huge in that dress" or "women your size shouldn't wear lycra and crop tops" or "you might think you look good without your shirt (to a guy)but I can smell your body odour from over there please get some personal hygiene" Can you imagine the joy in being able to say things like that without being beaten up and instead you get paid for it?

COMPLAINING.

I'm not talking about complaining about bad sevice or a shoddy product here but the whining moaning type of complaining that I do so well and so constantly.

"I'm cold".
"I hurt....."
"Why must you ..........."

I'm always in pain and I'm always freezing cold so being paid for this would be great. I always complain (to head office never the place it happened) about a shoddy product or service. In the last six months alone I've had a free £10 voucher for Pizza Hut (admittedly the service was disgusting and the manageress, a twenty year old only interested in chatting up the male customers)and a free meal for four at McDonalds.

SAYING "NO","STOP THAT","GO TO SLEEP","BEHAVE" AND OTHER JOYS.

My son has reached that allegedly adorable stage where misbehaving and being naughty is the only way to behave and when you add to that being mouthy, not saying please or thank you, blatantly disobeying me, ignoring me and refusing to do what I ask it is understandable why I spend my life saying the phrases I wrote above.

GOING ONLINE.

With the amount of time I spend online all my money worries would be over if I could just get paid for playing on my laptop.

SHAVING MY LEGS.

This is a pain in the butt, it's time consuming, boring and I always cut myself. It's so much easier to just bung on a pair of trousers. If I was paid to shave my legs then chances are I wouldn't have legs that currently resemble the Amazon rain-forest.

WATCHING U.S TV SHOWS.

If I'm watching tv then the chances are it will be an American made show usually a drama type show as the Americans tend to do them very well. I love watching my regular shows and I'm listing them here (because I can, so there).

1) Law And Order (with Jerry Orbach).
2) Law And Order (SVU - special victims unit).
3) Criminal Minds.
4) Cold Case.
5) Without A Trace.
6) House.
7) C.S.I (Vegas is best).
8) America's Next Top Model.
9) Little House On The Prairie.
10) Crossing Jordan.

What do you wish you were paid for?