My adventures & misadventures in parenting & life.

Thursday, 6 March 2008

Things I'd Like To Get Paid For.

Things I'd like to get paid for.

I would love to earn money for these things because I do, say or think them a lot. It would be a validation of sorts and even better it would be financially profitable.

So here's a mini list of things I'd like to be paid for (this list is subject to thousands of additions).


I could enter the sleep olympics and win triple platinum gold encrusted with flawless diamonds. I can happily sleep for over twelve hours and still want more. I don't think it's because my dream lives are always so much better than the reality because not all my days suck, contrary to popular belief.


I'm one of those awful people who is always right. I don't mean I think I'm right I mean I am right. This may be because the two people I tend to have a different opinion from are my husband and son (both males, need I say more?).
I would love to be able to go up to someone and just say "your bum is huge in that dress" or "women your size shouldn't wear lycra and crop tops" or "you might think you look good without your shirt (to a guy)but I can smell your body odour from over there please get some personal hygiene" Can you imagine the joy in being able to say things like that without being beaten up and instead you get paid for it?


I'm not talking about complaining about bad sevice or a shoddy product here but the whining moaning type of complaining that I do so well and so constantly.

"I'm cold".
"I hurt....."
"Why must you ..........."

I'm always in pain and I'm always freezing cold so being paid for this would be great. I always complain (to head office never the place it happened) about a shoddy product or service. In the last six months alone I've had a free £10 voucher for Pizza Hut (admittedly the service was disgusting and the manageress, a twenty year old only interested in chatting up the male customers)and a free meal for four at McDonalds.


My son has reached that allegedly adorable stage where misbehaving and being naughty is the only way to behave and when you add to that being mouthy, not saying please or thank you, blatantly disobeying me, ignoring me and refusing to do what I ask it is understandable why I spend my life saying the phrases I wrote above.


With the amount of time I spend online all my money worries would be over if I could just get paid for playing on my laptop.


This is a pain in the butt, it's time consuming, boring and I always cut myself. It's so much easier to just bung on a pair of trousers. If I was paid to shave my legs then chances are I wouldn't have legs that currently resemble the Amazon rain-forest.


If I'm watching tv then the chances are it will be an American made show usually a drama type show as the Americans tend to do them very well. I love watching my regular shows and I'm listing them here (because I can, so there).

1) Law And Order (with Jerry Orbach).
2) Law And Order (SVU - special victims unit).
3) Criminal Minds.
4) Cold Case.
5) Without A Trace.
6) House.
7) C.S.I (Vegas is best).
8) America's Next Top Model.
9) Little House On The Prairie.
10) Crossing Jordan.

What do you wish you were paid for?

2 people have experienced mischief:

Skittles said...

If I got paid for being online hubby could retire! :)

I found this and wanted to share it with you.

Homemom3 said...

hehe, looks like we watch all the same shows, except little house. :) DId you watch last night's Without a Trace?