My adventures & misadventures in parenting & life.

Saturday, 6 September 2008

Two Days Later (two days of heaven and hell)

It's Friday night now and I'm thinking back on my sons first two days (well, he finishes at noon so it should really be mornings) of school. It's not till the third week of school that he can go all-day and I will be able to nap in the day. I desperately miss my lie-ins and lounging around in my pyjamas till the afternoon.

Waking up at seven am is a big shock to the system and it's pure hell difficult for both of us to adapt to.
Here's a couple of my thoughts and experiences over the last two days:

* I didn't sleep at all the night before his first day, I was too nervous for him and petrified that I wouldn't wake up in time. I had all these images and scenarios running through my mind like my son with no friends, my son being bullied even the teacher (who seems to be a lovely woman btw) picking on him. I worried so much I had severe diarrhoea but my son slept soundly even the alarm blaring an inch away from his head did not wake him. He was so blase about the whole thing, not excited or scared although once he'd seen himself in his uniform he kept popping to the hall mirror to have another look at himself.
When we'd finished getting dressed in the morning, I found I was looking at this strange child I didn't really know. Not my baby or my little boy but a big boy looking smart and grown up in his school uniform. It made me melt with feelings of pride and yes, I admit it feelings of sorrow. I know I shouldn't have felt sad but I just didn't want to reach this stage, this level of independence, this separation of him into a person in his own right and not only my son.

* It wouldn't be my life if something hadn't gone wrong before we even left the house and this turned out to be a shoe issue. My son has one foot a size larger than the other, not a millimetre or two but a whole size and of course when we bought his new school shoes we only measured his smaller foot. So while one foot is comfortably encased in an expensive show the other is all bunched up and uncomfortable. I don't have the receipt so I will be spending some of next weeks food budget on yet another pair of shoes.

* The weather turned out to be non-stop heavy rain all night and all day. We were absolutely saturated when we arrived at school. I'd like to think that one of the mothers who drove past us in their warm, dry cars felt a bit guilty when we arrived looking like drowned rats but I doubt it.
They're all so snobby and cliquey that it just gave them another reason to look down their noses at me. Just as long as they look down on my son or they'll find I'm a formidable person to cross.

* As I can't stand or walk very far due to severe dizzyness, nausea and actually feeling faint I have to use a mobility scooter to get to the school. Thankfully my son finds this great fun and we scoot (is that a word?) to school with him sitting on my lap. He loves pressing the horn, going through puddles and the fact that we have to use the road and not the pavement because it tilts at a seventy-five degree slant just like a "real motorbike".

"We're just like a motorbike mummy, go faster, go faster!"

says my child the speed demon.

* Not one single mother even considered offering to bring my son home or collect him if the rain was heavy even though at least seven of them have to drive past my house to get to school. I'm sure this wouldn't happen in a council estate but because the majority of the homes in this village are worth a minimum of three quarters of a million they seem to only socialise with others in the same financial bracket. I am in the polar opposite bracket ie barely above the poverty line.
I had to wait ten minutes for my son to finish in the afternoon as they were let out late. I waited in the playground on my own, with the snobby mums (the nicest description I can think of right now) all in a little group laughing and joking together. It felt like being a social outcast or a leper in a pears soap commercial audition. I spent those ten minutes thinking and worrying that my son was suffering through the same ordeal also alone inside the school.

* He came out of school eventually as the teachers won't let the children go till they see the parent and the snobby mums were all in front of me so I'd been hidden. He was the happiest I've seen him in a long time, full of beans and chattering away about how fantastic big school is, how all his friends are there (he rattled off a list of at least twenty names lol) and how he wants to go again. "can I go again mummy? Please? Pleeaassseeee? Can I go forever?"

Somehow I think that desire will change after a few years.

* I'm so thankful that he makes friends so easily, it's a skill I wish I possessed but never have and most likely never will. My son hasn't reached the stage yet where girls are "yucky" which is nice, I kind of hope he never does. His bestest friends at the moment are a boy called "Tali" and a girl called Sophie (she's lovely, makes me wish I had a sister for my son). She chose my son as her one friend to take to Legoland for her birthday. Out of all her friends and cousins she chose my son and she hadn't even seen him for six weeks!

I'm so proud and chuffed, this just proves I'm right and he is extra special.

* Even though my son had been at preschool full-time the three hours he is spending at school is exhausting him. He is shattered by two in the afternoon, so much so that I'm going to be re-introducing afternoon naps next week.
I was going to send him full time the week after next but I may have to re-consider that plan if he is still that tired. On the down plus side I should be able to make bedtime earlier too and actually have some grown ups only, mummy and daddy time too!

Photographs to follow when I get batteries for my camera, the photos are there I just can't access them lol.

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