My adventures & misadventures in parenting & life.

Sunday, 7 September 2008

Migraines - NOT a cause for sympathy!

Hell hit me yesterday, no, it sucker-punched me and then kicked me while I was down on the ground, curled up in a foetus like ball whimpering for my mummy and praying to god for rescue.
I had a migraine, not a run of the mill headache but a migraine with added pain brought on from any light no matter how dim, any sound no matter how quiet and any movement even shallow breathing. Added to the immense pain I suffer from pain, hurts and aches daily and this was immense.

A migraine is not the same as the small, trifling headaches you get. These destroy any thought or sight you have. The pain is like being kicked in the unmentionables with a steel toe cap and then having boiling hot water thrown on there. Even that isn't as bad as a migraine headache. Imagine one of those ice-cream brain freezes and then multiply that by one thousand and you're still not even close!

So, I had the numbness down one side, the ache and pain in the one side, deep down, right in my very bones. I had the blurred vision, unable to focus eyesight, metallic taste in my mouth and the nausea every time I so much as took a breath.

I had to go to bed, to lie down in pitch black and blessed silence. I really, desperately needed to get rid of this pain. I would not have said no to going to hospital it hurt that much.

Hubby was downstairs with our son watching tv. How do I know this? I know this because he had the tv on so loud I could hear it blaring in every cell of my body. My head was thudding with every word and then the adverts would come on, louder than the actual show and all with stupid, irritating jingles that set off sequences of colour behind my eyes rather like fireworks only each one hurt, hurt a lot.

I asked him to tun down the tv, no big deal, no big deal to me or anyone who isn't my hubby anyway. He threw a toddler strop, moaned about how the tv was no louder than normal and no doubt thinking I was just being a bitch and complaining for nothing. He did not stop to consider how when someone has a migraine they are much more sensitive to light and sound, how even the sound of a pin dropping will cause extreme pain. He couldn't see how my little headache could be any worse than a slight ache that doesn't even need an aspirin.

I was going to make this a light-hearted post about my hubby getting stroppy because he had to turn down the tv because I had a migraine but there was nothing humorous in it all. I feel hurt and angry by his lack of care or consideration. It's made me wonder if this relationship is still worth fighting for. There's no care or thought for each other anymore just irritation. Sympathy or empathy are non-existant.
These types of "moments" start me wondering whether this relationship has passed the finishing post and is really over and done with, dead, finished, completely kaput!

2 people have experienced mischief:

Eudae-mamia said...

Everyone should have to experience a migraine once, especially husbands!

When that wave starts to invade the upper part of my left eye, I want to just cry at the thought of the day I am about to loose. I am so sorry. I hope you feel better and will not experience another migraine for a long time, if ever again.


Kelly said...

aw. I know the pain of a migraine well.

did you tell your hubby how his behavior made you feel? I would have been pissed off. The anger would have just made the migraine worse. poor you! I'm sorry you had to go through that!