Wishing for reality.

When I was a teenager my one, deeply longed for desire or wish was to become a mother with a gorgeous son. I had no wishes for riches, material posessions or lifestyle all I wanted was to be a mum. This was a wish I kept to myself, I just couldn't see it ever happening, for me to have a baby would mean someone loving & liking me enough to marry me (my wish never included single parenting) & I had such a low opinion of myself I just couldn't see it ever happening so this wish I buried deep & pretended that I had next to no interest in motherhood ever.

In my early twenties I was told by the hospital that I would never become pregnant either naturally or by assissted methods like IVF, that I was basically infertile. This was a big blow as you may imagine but I just filed it away deep inside, hidden from everyone & life went on.

When I was 30, I found out I was pregnant, I couldn't believe my luck, it was just too good to be true & when the doctor told me my first words were "is the pregnancy ectopic?" I couldn't imagine this being true I was so sure the doctor was wrong & it was in fact a tumour or that I would miscarry. I just knew there was no real possibility of this being true for me, I'd wanted & wished for this for so long how could it possible be true?

But it was

I became a mum to a gorgeous little boy & on top of that miracle I didn't even feel any pain when I had my son nor afterwards (the joy of an emergency c-section). I didn't even need an aspirin!

My wishes now don't involve myself I want everything for my son. I want him to be happy & enjoy his life. Whatever he wishes for I wish for it too, more than anything in the world. He is my wish come true, it does happy so why not to him also?

I cannot say that motherhood has turned out to be like the visions I had in my dreams specially since they included a well-behaved little boy, no sleepless nights, a distinct lack of dirty nappies & no food refusals (my wish also included non noisy toys ha ha ha) but on the whole it has not only met but exceeded all my wishes.

Wishes can & do come true, I'm proof of this as is this photo of my little miracle.