My adventures & misadventures in parenting & life.

Monday, 20 August 2007

Forgiveness & Forgiving

Forgiving someone who has wronged me in some way is not something I can do nor is it something I want to do.

Forgiving someone who wrongs you is no different to giving them a licence to continue with what they were doing safe in the knowledge that there will be no consequences you may as well tattoo the word "victim" on your forehead in indelible ink.

Everything we do or say in life should have consequences & forgiveness just means that the "wrongdoer" can do whatever they want without having to worry. I know the Jesus turned the other cheek & forgave those who wronged him but look what happened to him!

I will never forgive someone for hurting me or letting me down. If someone can do something that needs forgiveness then where is the respect or friendship towards myself? I obviously wasn't considered & neither were my feelings, that is not the sort of person I want in my life & to forgive them would be me saying that I think so little of myself that you can hurt me or let me down & it's ok. Well, it's not ok & you're gone from my life with no regrets on my part.

There were people in my life that did something I could not forgive & those people are now gone from my life, although still as large as life in my memory. I cannot forgive & most definately will not forget. I lose respect for people that have done me wrong & once the respect & friendly feelings have gone why should I forgive them just so they can feel good about themselves? Forgiving them won't make me feel better or change what occurred & it wont change the character flaw they have that enabled them to do whatever it was they did. I much rather cut them from my life & protect myself from suffering through that hurt again.

Forgiveness is all well & good in theory but I refuse to have people in my life that have done me or my family wrong I just can't risk giving them free reign to hurt me again.

Forgiveness is not in my vocabulary or life but self-protection most definately is.

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