Sunday's Moans & Groans. #1

Parrots don't just have wings they come disguised as toddlers too.

If you're the type of person who truly believes they never swear or say "bad words" then the quickest mose sure way to dispel those thoughts is to give birth & raise a toddler.
Toddler have a knack & are adept at never hearing a word you say or instantly understanding & pronouncing perfectly any cuss word you happen to utter even if you only say it once.

Skills you want your toddler to pick up quickly & easily like toilet training or holding a pencil correctly can take months & months to learn but say "shit" once & it's like they've known the word their entire lives, not only that but they can fit it into any conversation & use it in context too (I know some adults that can't do that as well as my son can).

I recently got pretty bad sunburn on my feet, walking was painful it was so bad, so when I dropped a tin of peas on my foot my language went something like "aaah,shit,bollocks,f*ck,damn it" followed by me hopping around the room whilst standing on the other leg (obviously) & yes my toddler watched all this in all it's glorious technicolour & stereo surround sound & thought it was the best thing ever. Cue my angelic looking little monster hopping on one foot shouting the phrase I uttered at the start of this paragraph. It is very hard to chastise someone for using language like that while you are still suffering from the waves of pain emanating from that one foot.
It looks like I'm becoming a member of the "do as I say not as I do" school of parenting & to think I always knew I'd never be a mother like that!

This skill he has of being able to use words in context from the first time he utters them proves that his hearing is perfectly fine as is his understanding & pronounciation it's just a shame my bloody health visitor (who incidently hasn't seen my son in nearly 2 years) hasn't heard these new language skills as this would maybe just maybe get her off our backs & stop her insisting he's delayed developmentally although how she would know when she never sees him is beyond me.

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When regression is a sign of lazyness & frustration.

My angel has got himself into the habit of regressing to babyhood when he is grumpy, tired or when he doesn't succeed first time. This habit is the latest one to drive me totally up the wall & make me feel like running for the hills well waddling fast for the hills more like.

I can understand frustration making him stressed out & angry, god knows I'm the last person in the world to teach anyone about patience as it's a skill I've never possessed. Tantrums aside the worst thing he has started doing is ignoring any answer I give him to a question & only listening to others, the village idiot is more likely to be listened to & heeded than I am. No matter how many times I am proved right he just does not seem able to listen to my answers.
I didn't expect him to consider me thick & a know-nothing till he was at least 12 or 13 so having it happen now when he isn't even 4 yet is a big blow, I wasn't prepared for this.
I want to be the all-seeing, all-knowing mummy for a few years more!

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Rome Sweet Rome.

Tonight I will be avidly watching the last ever episode of Rome, one of the most brilliantly acted, plot rich amazing shows I've ever seen. I'm absolutely heartbroken that this is it, the final one even the promise of "The Tudors" being shown does not dispel the loss for me.

This show was just so good & had the delectable Ray Stevenson in the role of "Titus Pullo" who has to be every womans idea of a macho male, yes he was masochistic, yes he was extremely violent but for the times he lived in there was this heart of absolute gold.

I don't know what will happen to my dreams now "King Henry The Eighth" just doesn't have the same sex appeal somehow.......... although I would have said that about Dr Who too & look what happened there.

Anyway here's one of my favourite pictures of Titus Pullo for those of us in withdrawl.