The Next 20 Years.

In The Next Twenty Years.

In twenty years time my life will have changed beyond all recognition and so will the world and society in general. This isn't exactly ground-breaking news, we only have to look back to 1988 to see just how changed life and society can be in twenty years.

Personal.

In twenty years my son will be twenty-four, an adult, a man, a grown up. This is such a horrible thought. I don't want my little boy to grow up, he's got too grown up and independent as it is and he's only four.
I expect he'll be living his own life hopefully in his own home with a family of his own. I hope he'll visit regularly and not just for me to babysit. I want him to visit because he wants to not because he feels he has to. I hope he'll have a good job he enjoys and one that pays extremely well would be good as Robin and I wont have any money or assets, not unless a miracle happens anyway.

Health.

By the time twenty years have passed I will be in my fifties, hopefully in no worse health than now but truth be told that is unlikely. I will still be diabetic, still have psoriasis but there could be great differences in how conditions (I don't like to say diseases or illnesses) are treated. There could be cures like an injection of something that repairs or creates a pancreas so diabetes will no longer exist. Anything is possible specially when we as the general population have no real, true knowledge on what is being created medical and scientific research wise.

The world and society as we know it now will have changed. Global warming and climate change will have affected us all and how we live our day to day lives. I suspect that we will have new deadly diseases to try to cure and limit like aids and sars.

Fashion.

Fashion tends to go in cycles like the recent trends in flares, smock tops and mini/maxi skirts.
I'm sure there will be new materials and denim jeans will be as popular in the future as they are now. I don't think women will be running around in mini-skirts or all-in-one pantsuits (sorry guys) but I do expect teenage girls to be wearing as little as possible as they always have done. I think we will have more clothing choices with built in protection from UV rays specially with the damaged ozone layer letting more and more rays in.

Education.

Education will be different as most countries are experiencing a "brain drain" and we will need to change our current education laws to stay on top of new technologies. I think home schooling will be more common place specially as the internet will be easily available to all. I think most children will be technologically minded and we as parents will need their instruction and advice more and more with each passing year.

Crime & Law.

There will have to be new laws to contend with the new crimes the mass usage of technology and because criminals are getting increasingly technical orientated.

Financial.

Money will have changed as I think most people will not carry cash but cards to pay for everything. You can see this happening now and as more and more places like shops accept a multitude of cards this way of paying will increase. Plus shopping online just can't be done with cash.

Transport.

There will have been changes in transport both private and public specially when it comes to fuel. Petrol wont be around forever and new ways of powering cars etc will have to be found, maybe electricity will be an option or solar powered card in countries where they have enough sun.
Anything is possible even a decent, regular public transport system although I think it will take more than twenty years for that to happen, specially in rural areas like where I live.

Housing.

Housing will be more apartment or flat based because more homes can be built on the same plot of land that way. The population is increasing and homes will be needed although it is possible if prices continue to soar like they are now that none but the richest will be able to even think of owning a home.

Entertainment.

We will all have huge tv's maybe wall size like you see in sci-fi films so you can eat looking at the sea for example. They will be integrated with the ability to shop, communicate (via a screen) and watch tv. There will be new ways of exercising and having fun energetically. I imagine the wii will be the basis for the new games etc as I can see this being expanded upon much like radio waves gave us morse code and then expanded to radio, tv and the like.

Last Thoughts On The Subject.

Hopefully nuclear war wont be as constantly imminent as it is now and all nations and religions will co-exist together peacefully and tolerantly but I can't see it being the case. I think the main problem we will have will be due to religious differences and a lack of compassion and tolerance.



I don't look forward to all changes but I can see that many are needed and wanted.

As long as food particularly chocolate doesn't become a pill then I'll be happy. I'd be ecstatic if cooking became a thing of the past and we just told the electronic hatch what we wanted and it appeared just like it does in Star Trek. I'd love a robot to do the housework too (I'm more than willing to test any prototypes).

Christmas Is The Best Time Of The Year Because.....

Jordan over at MamaBlogga is hosting a monthly group writing project.

This month the subject is:

"The best time of the year." You can finish that thought with whatever reflections
you'd like: on this holiday season, on the best time you've had all
year, etc.

My two favourite times of the year both have the same cause and that cause is my son, Marshall. His birthday is always a special time and it is made even more special because my son being here at all is nothing short of a miracle.
Even given how special my sons birthday is to me nothing can beat Christmas specially now my son is old enough to fully understand what is happening.

The excitement of Christmas starts to build in my son from around the first time he sees Christmas decorations in a store window, which incidentally seems to get earlier every year.

I love seeing the shops all decorated and glitzy too, it's exciting and the anticipation of the unknown desired gift is a feeling both my son and I love.
I love the whole shopping experience in the run up to Christmas, the streets get decorated and buses pass with drivers in red, Santa suits. The hot dog sellers and the hot chestnut sellers seem to emanate a cheerfullness that includes everyone, even those completely loaded with presents and walking on sore, tired, cold feet can't help but smile.

Seeing those people you tramped town to buy a present for open a gift you thought so carefully about and smile with happyness is a really fun part of Christmas.
I like buying presents for those I love as it is a small opportunity to show how much they are appreciated and loved and I admit I love getting presents too, Christmas may be more about giving than receiving but I love the receiving bit too. A lot.

I love to see a tree decorated with lights and baubles specially with a pile of brightly wrapped boxes underneath, it's just heartwarming to see and makes the room look so welcoming. Christmas is the ideal time to hopefully proudly display the kids decorations they have made in school. I love adding a new one impatiently crafted by my son every year, they are not perfect but they are the most important decoration I have and it's good to see how he is improving artistically and with his co-ordination every year.

The angel at the top of the tree is also important to me as we bought it for our very first Christmas together and even though the tree has now outgrown the angel she holds a place in my heart and will always be our trees crowning glory, unless my son ever makes one that is.

I love the way my son has an unshakeable belief in Father Christmas, he is the one my son is sure will make all his dreams come true. Unfortunately all his dreams are materialistic at the moment but at four years old I think there's plenty of time to instill some sense of giving to others. For now I want to give him amazing Christmases and that includes Father Christmas and chocolate for breakfast while he opens his stocking fillers before waking me up.

My son is starting to learn about the reson we celebrate Christmas and this year he is to be a wise man in the school play. I'm really looking forward to seeing him proudly carrying his gift to the baby Jesus and even better is the fact that the play is held in a real barn at the local farm with straw and animals in attendance.

I just hope I don't cry.

Other things I love about Christmas are the food we all eat that we normally wouldn't. I don't just mean the amount of food but also the type of food, chief of which has to be chocolate and hot mince pies with cream ladled on.

Tv is slightly better at this time of year with much loved films such as "It's a wonderful life" or the obligatory "James Bond" hopefully with the young Sean Connery in the lead role and the Christmas specials of shows we loved watching through the year.

I have to mention the essential heartbreak / divorce and deaths that occur in each and every soap opera. Christmas really wouldn't be Christmas without something totally awful happening in the soaps.

I hope one year to be able to have a white Christmas like you see on tv with all the fun a decently heavy snowfall provides.

My son is desperate to play throwing snowballs and build a snowman like he sees on his favourite shows.

I'd love to show him how to make a snow angel I think he'd love rolling around in the snow it would be like making a mess but with my blessing for a change.

All in all I love Christmas but with the expense, the food and the cold I don't think I'll be wishing it could be Christmas every day anytime soon. Once a year keeps it special.

And it is special.





Hello again!

Thank you all again for participating in one of the MamaBlogga Group
Writing Projects. It's that time again--next week we'll have another
writing project!

Since you've participated before, I'm giving you a sneak peak at this
time's theme. However, please don't reveal the theme (or your
entries) before Monday (on Monday is fine). I'm telling you so you
can have your entries ready sooner and so we can all spread the word
more once the contest has started. (Feel free to forward this e-mail
to anyone who you think would be interested though!)

The theme this time around will be (drum roll please!): "The best time
of the year." You can finish that thought with whatever reflections
you'd like: on this holiday season, on the best time you've had all
year, etc.

The submission form (not yet updated) will still be at
http://www.mamablogga.com/contact/group-writing-project/

Also, just FYI, I'm going to allow entries to be submitted through
Sunday, December 16.

Protecting Against Sexual Harassment.

Motivated by the fear of harassment claims, many companies now prohibit men and women from meeting one-on-one inside of offices or conference rooms that do not have a window to an outside hallway or area where others can see into the room. What do you think about that? Good move because it protects everyone involved, or an unwarranted overreaction driven by nothing more than overreaching morals and fear?

I have felt uncomfortable in a windowless room with the door closed at times, even when I considered myself to be safe.
I think it is due to the many examples of sexual harassment that have been publicised or made into films.

Companies also have to protect themselves not only from the opportunity a closed door and windowless room provides but also from the possibility of being taken to court and sued for compensation.
We do live in a time when thousands of pounds compensation can be awarded for harassment for the use of inappropriate words much more would be awarded for physical touching.

It is a good idea from not only a financial viewpoint but also from an employee and staff safety and comfort viewpoint.

My Expertise.

I am not an expert in anything, I would love to be able to say I am but sadly it would be a lie.
I would love to be an expert at cooking a certain dish but my cooking skils are less than severely limited. Or perhaps an expert in a subject that would bring the pennies rolling in or improve my life and others but no if I am an expert in anything it would be:

* Procrastination.

* Lazyness.

* Being Ill.

* Self Pity.

Not exactly skills to be proud of but skills I use on a daily if not hourly basis.

Maybe (procrastination) one day I'll become an expert in a useful field but then again would it be worth the effort? (lazyness).
I'm too tired all the time to bother (illness) and I'd more than likely fail (self pity).

See what I mean?

10 Reasons My Life Is Better Than A decade Ago.

This is a list of ten things / ways my life is better now than it was a decade ago.
I could have listed so many more than this it's really surprising to me just how much better my life is now compared to just a decade ago.
This is one fail - safe way to cheer yourself up when feeling down.

01) Spud.

A decade ago I still thought the hospital was correct when they said I would never be able to conceive.
My life was so empty before I had my son only I never felt the loss or the fact that my life was half lived.
He makes everything better and I'm a better person for him being in my life.

(note I said better not perfect, patient or less moany).

02) Robin.

He is more than a partner he is also a friend, supporter, cheerleader, chauffeur,
protector and daddy to my son. I can trust and rely on him implicitly and I know for certain he'd never knowingly hurt me.

(although his lack of common sense is at times infuriating).

03) My Work Life.

Ten years ago I was working in an awful social club filled with literally the dregs of society. I had recently been divorced and thought little of myself. It was not a good or healthy time for me and is probably the one time since my schooldays that had nothing at all on the good side.
Now I don't go out to work, I am a stay at home mum and while there is no pay, endless constant frustrations and non stop noise I am lucky to be able to do it.

04) My Weight.04) My Weight.

A decade ago I was chubby to say the least (although healthier than now). I couldn't look at myself from the side, it would make me cringe and shudder in disgust.
Exercise was not a solution for someone inherently lazy and I ate, a lot.
Now I'm around three or four stone lighter and want to put on a stone.
Some people are never satisfied.

05) Being Online.

I wasn't online ten years ago and never had been.
Even if social networking, blogging and web 2.0 did not exist back then there was still much online that I would have missed. Not least of all the company and entertainment factors.

06) Financial.

I may not be in a better situation financially at this time but things like day to day struggles and dealing with debt are much easier when there's two of you.

07) My Relationship With Mum.

I think my relationship is much stronger now than it was a decade ago. It could be down to me maturing (or my mum immaturing (I know that's not a word but it should be)). We seem to have more in common now possibly because we have had some similar experiences in the past decade or maybe I've just become better at caring about other people and their lives. Either way I love the fact I have such a good relationship with my mum.

08) TV Shows.

TV shows are much better now than they were on UK TV. I love shows such as CSI, Law And Order, Special Victims and of course House M.D. many weeks they are the only shows I watch. Many weeks they're the only thing on worth watching.

09) Knowing What I Want In Life.

I didn't really know a decade ago what I wanted out of life it has only been since 2003 that I finally started to realise what it is I want in life.
I know what I want now and hopefully I will be able to attain some of them like taking a writing course, further education and the kind of job I hope to work at.

10) My Home.

Ten years ago I could only dream of having a house to live in instead of a flat or maisonette as my situation (no children) and finances prohibited that from happening. Now I have a two bed mid terrace house and a son and partner to share it with.

My life is so much better now, it amazes me. I could never have seen any of it coming. I'm grateful for it every day.

My Bad Habits.

Bad Habits
20 November 2007, 17:00:31 | JM
We all have them – the little things we know we should not do but often do unconsciously. Sometimes they are things we should do but don’t, like not flossing every time we brush our teeth.

I am talking about bad habits.



What are your bad habits?

I have many bad habits that live alongside my bad character traits, we all do. Life gives us those habits and whether they are good or bad they are part of what makes us the person we are.

The bad habits of mine that I'm willing to admit to are:

* Pulling the seal off the milk bottle and dumping it in the fridge instead of the
bin.
* Biting my nails when I'm stressed or unhappy.
* Making my son get me something instead of getting off my bum and getting it
myself.
* Cocooning myself in the duvet no matter how cold hubby is.
* Turning down the pages of the book I'm reading instead of using a bookmark.
* Wearing socks in bed, sometimes the same pair I wore that day.
* Holding grudges forever.
* Wishing those that did me wrong were afflicted with "what goes around, comes
around".

I have lots more and I mean lots but I want you to think I'm a better, nicer person than I am so I'm not going to list them. All you need to know is that I have some good and bad points, no worse than anyone elses.

So there!

Parental Rights And Money

Pay up or else …

If a parent who is responsible for paying court-ordered child support fails to pay his or her due, do you think that the parent in question should be prohibited from seeing their child? Why or why not?

I honestly do not think this question can be answered with a simple yes or no as it has to depend on the people involved and their circumstances.

* The non custodial parent has no interest in the child.
* The non custodial parent was tricked into having the child.
* It would be dangerous for the child if the non custodial parent knew where they
are.
* The non custodial parent cannot afford the amount to be paid. (I don't mean
pretending it is too much money or just not wanting to, I mean those who genuinely
love the child but cannot afford to pay and live.

These reasons should be taken into consideration when the courts are ordering money to be forcibly taken from the bank account for example and given to the one with the child.
If the relationship finished because of abuse then surely it is better for that child to have no contact and if that means no financial support also then so be it.

If the parents themselves are happy with the financial arrangements they have then surely we should just leave them be. It is much better for the child involved to have two parents who are amicable towards each other than to have parents who are full of vitriol and blame. Money is not everything, nor is it the most important consideration.

If it is a case of the parent just not wanting to have to pay out then yes, the money should be forcibly taken, but it should be between the parents and not involve the child or their relationship with the other parent.

I found this one so difficult to answer as my own experiences have affected my emotions and thoughts on this subject. I've tried to be as fair as I possibly can, hopefully I've been successful but for some an emotive issue I think I most likely failed.

10,000 thanks

It seems like everything always changes with money.
How much you have or lack seems to change so much in life.
And if your circumstances change dramatically within your lifetime, well that just makes things even more confusing.

If you had $10,000 that you had to give away, who would you give it to? (And no cheating by giving it to your spouse because that is too easy of a choice and it stays in your household.)

This is a bit of a no-brainer for me because if I could keep all the money, I'd give half to my mum. So being unable to keep the money or share it with a spouse I'd give it all to my mum.

There would be one condition or proviso on how she spends the money My mum would be free to spend or save the money exactly as she wished as long as it is not spent on myself or my spouse. If I could afford to give my mother £10,000 then I obviously do not need financial help or gifts as I would have the funds to do this for myself.

If I was paying my mother for all her help, support, advice and love that she has given me unstintingly through the years even when I made it so difficult then £10,000 just wouldn't even repay a years worth of the support my mother has given me.

I was not an easy child or teen to love, my behaviour and attitude alone are prickly at best but she never gave up on me. Not once.
I never realised or appreciated it until I entered my thirties but as a mother now myself I can appreciate and see the self sacrifices and asisstance she gave without any thought or gain for herself.

My mother has given me so much over the years, things I appreciate now more than even she realises.
She gave me intelligence (lord knows it didn't come from my father), a love of reading, money, even if it meant she struggled financially and the parenting skills I sometimes possess.
She has always been supportive too even when she didn't agree with my decisions (I should listen to her more she is rarely wrong).
Now she is the nanny my son feels a peership with, due to behaviour and humour of the same level (lol mum!).

I'm grateful for having this woman as my mum, I have been lucky.
No amount of money could even begin to repay her for everything she has done for me but this £10,000 would be a fine start.

How My Parents Choices Affected Mine.

How did your parents’ careers impact your plans for a future career?

The person that has most affected my choices and decisions in life is my mother. She is an inspiration to me in so many ways and has taught me the value of working hard and of education.

Mum taught me to read and introduced me to a wide range of genres I would most likely not have discovered otherwise. I learnt to enjoy learning for it's own sake, to always be open to new ideas and thoughts which is in it's turn a learning opportunity.

Career wise my mum made the most of her educational opportunities and has worked in a job where she can help people navigate official red tape.
Mum's job requires her to use her brain and knowledge and neither her nor myself would be happy working on something like a manufacturing line.
She is very much a "people-person" and I have been influenced by this.

My career dream from childhood onwards was to work in the probation service helping offenders with life after prison or social work. This would involve using knowledge and navigating red-tape just like my mum does now.

My current job is being a mum to my four year old and I try to emulate my own mothers parenting style although my success is dependent on which of my character flaws are to the fore.

Laughter, Tears & Anger

What was the last thing you cried about? Laughed about? Got angry about?

Crying.

The last time I truly cried, cried heart wrenching sobs, that period of time spent with tears coursing down my face & my heart breaking into a thousand tiny shards was the day I discovered my son was lonely, lonely & unhappy.

My son, my pride & joy, my reason for living & the most special, wonderful, gorgeous, caring & affectionate child I have ever known was unhappy & I did not know what to do to make it right for him.

I want my son to live a life full of joy & happiness, full of friends & success, yet not having attained that for myself means that while I know what I want for my son I do not know how to get it for him.
The guilt I feel at this tears me up at times specially when he asks for a brother or sister so he can have a playmate. This is not something that is going to happen, no matter how much I or my son wish it & the guilt at failing my son is something that always brings me to tears & I suspect always will.

Laughter.

The last time I laughed was I suspect a long time ago before all the money worries & strains & disappointments of adult, grown up life got in the way.
I am one of those people that worry & if I do not have a major worry at that particular time then I will conjure one up. The proof of this is my permenant psoriasis which can extract the joy from any situation.

If I do laugh it is usually at something my son has said, something he believes is fact using his pre-schooler logic. Something like why he wants to wear two pairs of pants at once so that the pair underneath will stay clean, the fact it is in fact dirty because it has touched his skin for 12 hours is not an issue.

Anger.

I can get angry about a wide variety of things but what really makes me angry is anything that affects or hurts my family. I cannot forgive or forget anyone or thing that upsets my family. I get angry at the people, things & situations that hurt their feelings. I feel much more than intense dislike at the causes of the hurts, I want revenge, I want to cause that person pain & hurt. I want to fight that which hurts my family & smite them (I've always wanted to use the word smite in a sentence!).
My family are caring, decent, genuine people who deserve to be liked, loved & respected & I am always angry when I think they have not been given their due.
I make no apologies for this, the anger I feel at this is all encompassing & like a mother tiger fights for her young I will fight those that upset mine.

Time WRITE ANYWAY

Quotes about Time


Time is one of those things we pretend we understand but really know nothing about. We measure it, yes, but what are we measuring? Minutes? Seconds? Both are measurements of time, but what is time?


I’m going to put up some quotes about time for you to go through. See what strikes you, what you agree with, what you disagree with… Perhaps even use one of the quotes as the opening line for one of your characters.

See where inspiration takes you.


Andy Warhol: They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.

Time does change things, society norms is an example of this. Single parents were unheard of 50 years ago but are commonplace now but changes such as this have to begin somewhere & that is usually by someone who has had those circumstances thrown onto them & has lived & battled through disapproval & distrust, even dislike & disgust to be accepted.
As we live & adapt to the world & it's values around us so does how the world sees us adapt, that is the way we change & in time those brave pioneers of change sadly become forgotten but their legacy lives on.


Annie Dillard: How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.

Life consists of a series of days, it is how we spend those days that makes our lives. If our days are spent in meanness & cynicism then our lives will have been spent in the same way. If we look upon every day as a brand new adventure, we can live a life full of wonder & fun. Plus a few aches, pains & accidents.


Benjamin Franklin: Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that the stuff life is made of.

Time passes so quickly & once gone can never return just ask any mother & she will tell you how time passes so fast. One minute your child is a baby needing everything done for him & the next minute (or so it seems) a person in their own right.
If we spend our days wishing for this thing & that thing then we are wasting the time we could have spent on enriching our lives & those of others.


C. S. Lewis: The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.

Time cannot stand still for any of us no matter who we are. All the potions & creams on the market to "slow down time" will never be a complete success. Time is in perpetual motion, forever moving onward & we cannot stop this. We can try to hold back the effects of the passing years but not the years themselves.
A woman in her sixties is a woman in her sixties no matter if she looks forty or fifty years old she will still have been alive for sixty plus years.


Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived.
played by Patrick Stewart, from the film “Star Trek: Generations”

We all need to enjoy life as it is a once in a lifetime thing, once gone there is no re-run or replay. We should enjoy the day, every day & make the most of every opportunity given. We may be able to leave behind an important piece of work or an invention but if we had never enjoyed life & only worked on this one thing then it will have been a life half lived.


Colette: Time spent with cats is never wasted.

We should spend time with the people & the things we love & enjoy. If you love cats or reading or something like swimming then time spent doing these things is an enrichment of your life & happyness. Never a waste.


Ecclesiastes: For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

To live a full life it needs to be a life with many parts & no, not all of them will be fun or even pleasant. There will be times when we do one particular thing but also another when we do the complete opposite such as planting crops & then reaping the harvest. There are also things we should never stop doing & do them throughout our lives such as learning something new.

Life is here. It is up to us what we make of it.

She'll have fun, fun, fun til her daddy takes the T-bird away

List three things you did this past week.
Out of those three: what was the most fun?
What made it fun?

1) Phoned my mum.
2) Started my writing course.
3) Went to the market.

All three of these activities were fun in some way & I enjoyed them all because I love talking on the phone & I love shopping even if it's for something boring like food. The most enjoyable & therefore fun activity I did was researching & signing up for various writing groups & of course my writing course.

I enjoyed reading about the various aspects of writing such as submitting articles to composition tips. I managed to pick up some really useful information & found some inspiring websites.
I also joined some writing groups & forums, some of which seem to be very friendly & I'm certain I'll be given lots of good advice & make some new friends who have the same interest in writing that I do.

This was enjoyable to me because it is something I have an interest in & a burning wish to know more & to improve on the paltry writing skills I currently possess.
This may not be in the same league as visiting Disneyland or playing your favourite sport but to me it was fun with the added bonus of hopefully being useful & educational too.

I thought being a grown up meant

Just spend five minutes writing about what your younger self thought being an adult would be like.
What sorts of freedoms did you think awaited you when you were finally all grown up?

I thought being a grown up meant the freedom to do as I wanted with no limits, my own life to be lived how I choose & where I choose & with fun all along the way.

When I was a teenager I could not wait to reach the magical age of 18. I wanted to be classed as a grown up, to be taken seriously & to embark on a proper, adult life with all I thought that entailed.

I thought being an adult would magically open all kinds of doors & bring forth amazing opportunities that mystically only appear once you become an adult.
I imagined myself being able to do & say anything I wanted with no constraints.

I thought that all my doubts & insecurities would magically disappear once I became an adult unfortunately I hadn't considered the effects of bills, financial liability, resposibility & the higher cost of everything from prescriptions to education.
These constraints are what hampers any personal freedom we may have as adults, we have to consider the effect our actions & words will have on others & ourselves. These are what makes an adult a "grown up" & although unrealised as teens the majority of us rise up to these responsabilities & survive.

Reunion Schmunion.

Do you attend your high school reunions? Why or why not?

Almost every school in existence hosts reunions for their ex students, it is something many look forward to although I'm sure an equal number dread the very thought of them & others wouldn't even consider attending if their life depended on it. I fall into the last group.

I can imagine nothing worse than voluntarily spending an evening surrounded by people I disliked & who made me suicidally miserable when I was a teen. The very thought of being there with all my wrinkles & lumps & bumps on show reinforces my wish to never attend, maybe if I was Halle Berry or supermodel like (not Kate Moss, she's awful) I would be happy to attend even if no-one spoke to me, it's not as if I haven't had experience of this. I would be happy to attend in all my supermodel finery just so I could look down my nose at them all but as I'm more Rosie O'Donnell than superbabe it's not likely to happen.

I would attend only if I could look down on all of those who made my life so miserable & show them all my finesse, success & wealth. I would revel in their jealousy & ill will.

I think if I had had a better, friendlier, less miserable time when I was at school then maybe I wouldn't be quite so anti - reunions but as it stands they have no place in my life & thankfully never will. My last day at school was the best day of my life & I have no desire to ever revisit the source of so much personal misery.

I am mother (hear me roar)

How far would you go to get your kid what they want or need?


I love my son with all my being, my very heart & soul. He is the most important, the most amazing, special & unbelievably wonderful & precious person I know. Every hope & dream I have is either for my son or involves my son in one way or another.
I honestly don't know when this happened, when I stopped being materialistic & selfish & focused on my son & his future but it did & now I don't care about the latest technical gadget or fashion item, I don't even care as much about the things in my life I just want my son to be healthy, happy & successfull.

I willingly go without for my son, it is if not exactly a privelidge then something I am happy doing.
I will forgo things for me & my own life to improve his life and / or make him happy. A toy for example is much more important than a new pair of shoes even if my current ones have holes & are missing a heel.

There is nothing I would not do for my son even the unlikely actions of walking on hot coals with the heat searing my skin & burning it's imprint onto my sole (& soul) while I hop madly from one foot to the other or battling an unbeatable foe, a veritable Goliath to protect my son.

When it comes to my sons future & his safety & happyness I become something akin to a lioness protecting her cubs in a "I am the mother, hear me roar" kind of way. Nothing & no-one is as important to me as my son & I would commit any crime needed to provide him with the things he needs, nothing is out of the realms of possibility.

I don't believe I want anything unusual for my son, just good health, education, employment opportunities & a family & whatever it takes for my son to achieve this.
I want my son to be a happy, ethical, productive & caring member of society living a happy, successful life & god help anyone or anything that interferes with that.

I will not put up with or settle under any limitations in what my son wants to achieve in his life whether or not they are choices I agree with I will fight on his behalf & for him to help him make his dreams come true. This is after all a mothers job.

This is my entry in a competition over at Parentbloggers.com

The prize is a Visa check card for $200 (around £100).

This competition is being held in conjunction with Harper Collins to promote their book "Dangerous Admissions"

Click on the link for more info

How far would you go for your kids?

Being free is priceless

Write Anyway

What does freedom mean to you?
Think of a time when you felt restricted.
How old were you?
What were you stopped from doing?
Did you manage to overcome the opposition?
If so, how did you reach your goal?
If not, what did you try?
Do you have a different perspective on the situation now?

Let me feel your frustration.

My first husband was a Moroccan & I was lucky enough to spend some time living in Morocco, not in one of the tourist traps but in the real Morocco where I was subject to the same religious & social codes that all the women lived by.
These "rules" were not as strict or severe as they would be for a born Moroccan woman (I was after all British & therefore classed differently), I could do many things that a Moroccan woman / wife could never do & many of the restrictions were relaxed in my case.
I know these things would have been unthought of freedoms for Moroccan women but to me they didn't go far enough, I had been raised in the west & had western ideas & was used to the freedoms women have living in the west.

I had to think before I did anything as to how it could be construed, my husband & his family were lovely, caring people & I did not want to bring any embarassment or shame onto them.

Clothing was an area where I was restricted, not only by what clothing was available in the shops & souks but also by what was considered appropriate & what would upset / enrage others in the community, a knee length skirt & a spaghetti strap top were out for example but long, floaty tops & anything that covered the skin was fine.

Food was another area, I did not have the freedom to eat what I chose, when I chose as in a muslim country bacon sandwiches for example are off every menu.
Moroccans have cutlery but most meals are eaten with the hands so I felt that I could not use a knife & fork but had to eat in the traditional, expected way.

You had to be careful how you spoke of the King of Morocco, people had been thrown in prison just for disagreeing with his policies whilst I was used to being able to state my opinion even if it did usually disagree with Major or Blair for example. Learning to limit or curb my tongue was a major loss of freedom for me, the loss of freedom to have & express my own opinions, thoughts & points of view.

Even something as basic as the weekly shop was bound by rules, I could not go out unless accompanied & not only for my safety but also because it was expected. Women are rarely seen outside alone it is somehow dishonourable to the family.

Women are limited in what they can & can't do in a myriad of ways, there are rules & social mores to conform to in everything from cooking & cleaning to marriage, mothering & recreation to how one lives her life both in the privacy of her own home & in public & of course religion.
The limitations I had while living in Morocco were only small; no skimpy tops, no going out unless accompanied, eating meals Moroccan style & no smoking in public but I found them difficult as I was accustomed to living my life relatively unhindered & on a more or less equal basis to men, knowing that my life was not worth less just because I was female. It was the little things, being unable to just browse the market on my own or talk to people of either sex of always having to think how will me saying such & such affect my family, is it acceptable?

I am glad I had the opportunity to experience this different way of life, the life in another country & religion it taught me a lot about myself, life in general & taught me what I needed to be happy namely the freedom to be, to make mistakes, to live & to love unhindered by societies expectations or limits.
I learnt that I need to be "me" not a me bound with expectations & rules where there are penalties imposed for having a different opinion

I'm glad & thankfull to have grown up in a country where I have freedom of choice in the clothing I wear, the religion I follow, the lifestyle I choose & the freedom to express my opinion no matter who it disagrees with.

Freedom is a priceless gift & one we should all treasure.

Deadly fear

I am the original scaredy-cat quivering, quaking & worrying in the corner, staring desperately at the floor wishing it would swallow me up whole & rescue me / release me from my fear.
This fear takes over my body & soul, I can think of nothing else & no rational thoughts will battle their way through & as for logic? well, that has no place & is not welcome in my land of fear & panic.

I fear so many things from the run of the mill bugs & spiders to the usual fears about family health & happyness. Then there's the fears & worries over kids education, my marriage, my husbands work & of course our bill paying ability.

These all scare me silly!

I can worry myself to pieces over my son; is he happy? Does he love me? Does he love daddy more? Is he doing well at school? Does he have friends?
Or worry over my husband: Is my husbands job secure? Is he going to lose his job? Is he happy in this marriage? Does he still want me? Want to be with me? Does he want to be with someone else?
Or even fear I'm not a good mother, that my son deserves a better mum, I fear that I'm not a good mum & that I've let him down & I fear that I'm too selfish to be a proper mum, a mu "like everyone else".

Finances are great fodder for worriers like me usually along the lines of: Can I pay the ...... bill this month? Will I be cut off? If I do such & such can I afford to live for the rest of the month? Will the bailiffs be popping round & not for a friendly cup of tea?
These fears are usually accompanied by vibrant daydreams of us living in a home with nothing in it just bare walls, with us only eating one slice of plain, unbuttered bread between the three of us because we can't afford anything more & my son in ragamuffin, Oliver Twist style rags pleading for just one mouthfull of milk. Exaggeration? Yes, of course but once panic sets in all realism flies away & the panic & fear are given free reign to increase.

Then there's christmas to worry about!

My biggest fear, the one that really scares me & wakes me up trembling in fright is the thought of being buried alive or being buried & then waking up in a coffin when it is too late.
The blackness all around me, lying there knowing that each second that passes is the lessening of my hopes to be saved / rescued, all this closing in on me with each breath. I can imagine the worms moving & writhing in the mud surrounding me & knowing that each breath is one less breath of oxygen, one breath nearer to a death of suffocation.
It will not matter how much I shout (which uses up lots of oxygen) or how much I cry & kick all I can do is lie there & wait to breath my last.
I can imagine the coffin getting smaller & smaller & my minutes on the earth diminishing while while family stand at my grave wishing I was still there but knowing I am gone, their hearts shattering into another million pieces while I lie there, trapped, screaming, hoping & praying for rescue.

This fear is apparantly quite a common one, it even has a complicated latin name, it's called Taphophobia.
Many people have the same fear or phobia, some have even arranged to be buried with some
kind of signal they can use to alert people to the fact they are actually still alive. According to Wikipedia there is an urban legend that states that the sayings "Saved by the bell", and "Dead ringer" are both derived from the notion of having a rope attached to a bell outside the coffin, which could alert people that the recently buried person is not yet deceased which sounds like a very sensible idea to me & one I plan to implement when my time comes or should that be passes?

Would you like to talk about your (ir) rational fears? then head on over to Scribbit & post your entry there.


scribbit at gmail.com

About Blogs.

What kinds of blogs interest you?

What types of blogs would you like to see more of?

Can you cite examples?

I have around 50 blogs on my blogroll covering a wide variety of subjects from personal blogs to shopping to blogs on recipes & writing.

My favourite blogs are the ones I check daily & the ones whose authors I think about & even worry about, the ones that make me think or laugh / cry.

There are many blogs out there but the ones I list here are what I consider to be the best of all of them. So here are my top 4 blogs:

1) 4th Avenue Blues.

This is the personal blog of a man, early 30's who is an alcoholic, psychzophrenic & who has also been homeless. He writes about his struggles with daily life, his medication, emotions & the strong pull being drunk & homeless has on him. It's an amazing blog really well written & one that has made me cry due to his honesty & beautiful, expressive writing.

2) Wiping Up Snot

This is a parenting blog about the funny, annoying, daft & crazy things that happen once you become a mum. I find myself thinking "oh my god, my son does that!" quite a bit plus she's a great writer with a unique view on parenting & life in general.

3) Write Anyway

This writing blog gives you a variety of prompts for subjects to write about & the subjects are always ones I have to think about. You can read what other people have written on the subject & it's a great way to not increase traffic to your site but to also give you other points of view to consider.

4) MamaBlogga

This blog is a parenting blog, a blog about blogging & a blog that hosts a monthly group writing contest with $30 Amazon voucher as a prize. All of the aspects of her blog are well written & informative. If only all blogs were this good.

There are so many blogs out there & everyone who writes a blog no matter how good or bad deserves a mention but the ones above are the ones I have found that I really enjoy & the ones I I either empathise with or learn from.

The best blogs are those that are much more than just an online journal & these are the creme de la creme of all.

Wishing for reality.

When I was a teenager my one, deeply longed for desire or wish was to become a mother with a gorgeous son. I had no wishes for riches, material posessions or lifestyle all I wanted was to be a mum. This was a wish I kept to myself, I just couldn't see it ever happening, for me to have a baby would mean someone loving & liking me enough to marry me (my wish never included single parenting) & I had such a low opinion of myself I just couldn't see it ever happening so this wish I buried deep & pretended that I had next to no interest in motherhood ever.

In my early twenties I was told by the hospital that I would never become pregnant either naturally or by assissted methods like IVF, that I was basically infertile. This was a big blow as you may imagine but I just filed it away deep inside, hidden from everyone & life went on.

When I was 30, I found out I was pregnant, I couldn't believe my luck, it was just too good to be true & when the doctor told me my first words were "is the pregnancy ectopic?" I couldn't imagine this being true I was so sure the doctor was wrong & it was in fact a tumour or that I would miscarry. I just knew there was no real possibility of this being true for me, I'd wanted & wished for this for so long how could it possible be true?

But it was

I became a mum to a gorgeous little boy & on top of that miracle I didn't even feel any pain when I had my son nor afterwards (the joy of an emergency c-section). I didn't even need an aspirin!

My wishes now don't involve myself I want everything for my son. I want him to be happy & enjoy his life. Whatever he wishes for I wish for it too, more than anything in the world. He is my wish come true, it does happy so why not to him also?

I cannot say that motherhood has turned out to be like the visions I had in my dreams specially since they included a well-behaved little boy, no sleepless nights, a distinct lack of dirty nappies & no food refusals (my wish also included non noisy toys ha ha ha) but on the whole it has not only met but exceeded all my wishes.

Wishes can & do come true, I'm proof of this as is this photo of my little miracle.

Summer is over (but my holiday is soon) ha ha

We, as a family don't go on holiday during the summer as the prices are just too high. We go on holiday once the prices have come back down usually around the second week in September.
We do however go on days out & have seen some sights that will be a cherished memory for years to come.

One of these daytrips was to the International Air Tattoo 2007.

Where else could you see gorgeous airmen (of all nationalities), market stalls, sexy planes & men with big, loaded guns & a shoot to kill policy?
I never used to think of pilots & planes as sexy but I guess the film Top Gun. has a lot to answer for.

The other image I will have of this summer & will have for years to come was of the flooding we experienced in my village due to the heavy rains.
You can see how heavy the rains were by looking at this picture below of a subway, completely flooded.

The misery & damage these floods caused showed us how woefully prepared we are for "acts of nature" we are. The many people who helped out others not for their own personal gain but purely to help was a heart-warming one & it proved even to a bitter old cynic like me that there is still hope for us as a society & that not all people are bad or rotten. Now that has to be worth a few days of rain!

My "summer" holiday is coming up very soon so while everyone is sitting back at their desks, shoulders bent under the weight of daily drudgery I'll be on holiday, looking at things & going places with next to no queues & paying half of what others did who chose to go on holiday when the schools were on break.